It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
It all started with a game of naked twister.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
