I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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