I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
