I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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