Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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