You can't motorboat a personality
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
