awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
