Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I enjoy the company of your penis
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