I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize