she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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