I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
