Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
