i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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