Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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