i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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