I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
