I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
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