I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
