Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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