3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
