How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
