I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
