i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
