He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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