Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
