One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
