dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
