Do you still have your period?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Hippo gnu deer
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
