Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
