Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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