CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
FUCK WHALES
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
