so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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