one two three fourrrrnication!
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
