sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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