:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
