If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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