It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
