Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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