Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
