you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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