Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Damn victory sex feels great
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
