no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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