Is it because I queefed?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I love having hate sex.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
