AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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