he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
