we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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