Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
she woke up with a sticky ear
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
