But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
