His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
There are leaves in my underwear?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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