I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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