You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
