i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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