We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
